He came to learn medicine. Medicine gave him a hallway map and a crisis.
Intern Panic begins every shift with hope, three pens, and a tragically misplaced sense of direction. By minute seven, the pens are gone, the chart is upside down, and someone has asked him to find Room 312 in a building that appears to contain seven Room 312s.
He is not incompetent. He is simply new, caffeinated, and surrounded by adults who speak entirely in acronyms, beeps, and meaningful looks toward elevators.
His great gift is that he says the wrong thing at exactly the right time, usually causing Dr. Stat to point dramatically, Nurse No-Nonsense to sigh heroically, and the Chart Goblin to flee with evidence.
